Impact of extrinsic motivation on intrinsic motivation

Motivation can be simply defined as the things that induce us to take certain actions or behave in a certain way. It is the why or the reason that drives a person towards a desired goal.

The reasons can be categorized into something that is within us i.e. intrinsic / internal motivation, or something that is external to us i.e. extrinsic / external motivation.

Internal motivation in performing a task occurs when the task in itself is experienced as rewarding and there is no need for any external reward before it is performed. Examples are love of the task, self-satisfaction, sense of achievement, relaxation purpose, etc.

External motivation in performing a task occurs when the task is performed because of an external reward. Examples are praise, recognition, money, stickers, grades, material rewards, etc.

Motivation can be seen as a continuum from being externally driven to becoming more internally driven. All of us start off in life being externally driven. Remember how many children are bribed with sweets or stickers, and do things to get praise from adults. But as we mature and our material needs become more satisfied, we become more internally driven. Though intrinsic motivation is generally accepted as being better as it is within the internal control of the person, external motivation is useful in helping a person initially to get on a task when he does not feel intrinsically motivated to do so.

However, the excessive use of external motivation might have detrimental effects. This has been shown in research or experiments that examine the effects of external reward on an internally motivated task.

The 1973 paper "Undermining children's intrinsic interest with extrinsic rewards: A test of the overjustification hypothesis" by M Lepper, D Green & R Nisbett, reported an interesting experimental observation. During children's free-play time, a fun drawing activity was introduced. They observed the children playing and selected those children who appeared to find intrinsic satisfaction in drawing. These children were placed under three different conditions.

Condition 1: "Good Player" certificate was shown to some of the children, and asked if they would like to draw to win the certificate. 

Condition 2: Some children were given the opportunity to simply engage in drawing and the children were given the "Good Player" certificate unexpectedly.

Condition 3: Some children simply drew without expecting or receiving any reward.

Two weeks later, all these children were again allowed to engage in the drawing activity. The result was interesting. It was found that the children who chose to draw for the reward showed less interest in drawing, and also when the reward was withdrawn, these children simply stopped drawing. Children in the other two conditions showed no significant change in their interest in drawing. The result seems to suggest that the external reward of a "Good Player" certificate destroyed the original intrinsic motivation for drawing.

In 1975, EL Deci reported his research findings in the paper "Intrinsic motivation", that when people were given rewards for pursuing intrinsically satisfying goals, decreased motivation was the result. The result seems to suggest that if people already enjoy what they are doing, giving rewards for their engaging in this activity can act as a deterrent in continuing with that activity.

These two reports seem to suggest that external rewards can destroy intrinsic motivation. There is therefore the danger of "overjustification" in our enthusiasm to motivate good performance through rewards.

What are the lessons that we can learn in motivating our children, students or subordinates? Suggestions are:

1. Develop intrinsic motivation for tasks, e.g. by providing a safe environment for them to pursue their own interests without undue interference.

2. Encourage intrinsic motivation for tasks e.g. providing opportunities for sharing of work and of the personal satisfaction gained.

3. Provide external rewards sparingly, and without giving expectations for it.

READ MORE - Impact of extrinsic motivation on intrinsic motivation

Geopathic Stress

Perhaps one for the biggest hidden dangers today is Geopathic Stress. You can't see it, taste it, smell it, feel it or hear it; yet it surrounds us all. Geopathic stress itself comes in two primary types, natural and unnatural. It is basically the energetic fields that are emanated from various sources. 

Natural forms of EMF include lay lines, underwater sources, energy vortex's and negative Feng Shui lines. These have always been around us and recognized by many cultures, in particular the chinese and the celts. Dowsing has been the most common way to identify these energy fields and has been used around the world in various forms for many centuries. 

There have been many studies carried out linking these natural geopathic stress fields to illness, and in particular cancer. People who developed cancer had their home checked and it was discovered that dowsers could pick up negative energy fields in areas they spent large amounts of time, often through the bed. Research was then conducted on who had previously lived there and it was found that there was a very high incidence of previous occupants dying from cancer. 

It's not just cancer but a whole range of illnesses and problems that have been linked to geopathic stress. These include ME, depression, insomnia, headaches, back pain, and stress. However the past hundred years we have seen a rise in the geopathic stress due to the large amounts of electrical equipment now used. 

It is estimated that the ambient EMF pollution has increased over 200 million times in the past century. This level increases to over 1 billion times in city centre's. An experiment with bumble bees showed them going crazy and attacking each other when exposed to high EMF fields, a rather scary similarity to our own culture in many ways. 

I ask men 'would they put their testicles in a microwave?', and the answer is of course no. I then ask if they carry a cell phone in their trouser pocket, to which the answer is usually yes. What is the difference? Well essentially the time it takes them to cook. This is a little too close to the truth for comfort. 

Cell phones emit frequencies in the micro wave range, so do microwaves, hence their name. Now agreed a microwave has a lot higher radiation level but thermal image scans on the brain have showed that it too heats up when using a mobile phone. In fact 2 minutes needs one hour for the effects to fully reduce. Think about that. It means that many people are literally 'hot headed' the whole day! 

Now I know cell phones get a lot of bad press, and perhaps a little unfairly when you consider how bad cordless phones are, and worse still hairdryers. The fact of the matter is every electrical device gives off something. So take an average office worker.

First they make their toast, in a toaster. Not too bad if they are not standing too close. Then they drive to work, in a car. Cars generate huge levels of EMF's due to the metals in the tyres, moving engine parts, air conditioning, radios etc. This is the all contained in a metal cage insulated from the ground allowing it to build up. It's no wonder so many people become stressed and fatigued driving. Then they arrive at work, sit in front of a computer, emitting radiation, under fluorescent lights, emitting radiation, take a cell phone call, emitting radiation and on and on. They finally drive home, in their car, and then sit in front of their TV, emitting radiation, eating their radiated food from their microwave. And that's only a brief look. 

You can use EFT and other Energy Psychology methods to clear some of the disruptions to your system caused by EMFs. Headaches from fluorescent lighting is a great example. This though, in my opinion, needs to be done on a frequent basis as your system keeps becoming re-disrupted. It is also impossible to be aware of everything affecting you all the time. We need a more practical, long term solution. 

I don't want to paint a picture of doom and gloom and get you even more depressed, however a little awareness could go a long way. It is obviously impractical to give up this way of life for most people, so what to do? 

Protection is the key. Minimize exposure where possible, i.e. use a normal wired in phone when possible, walk don't drive when possible etc. For the rest of life I cannot recommend BioPro highly enough. There are now many EMF neutralizers out there but none as well tested as BioPro. Mobile phone shields do not work, they cannot work or neither would the phone. However the fields can be harmonized so they no longer affect the body. On their website BioPro have thermal scan evidence of mobile phone heating the brain, then not heating the brain with the use of a BioPro harmonizing chip. There is plenty of more evidence and research on the site too for a range of products. Don't delay, act today. EMF's are not going to fix themselves. 

I usually hate multilevel marketing because you feel the person selling to you has such a vested interest. However I hope as you will appreciate from my site my main focus is to educate people about what they can do for themselves. These products last for life and so may well be the best investment for yourself and loved ones in the modern age, allowing you and your family to enjoy modern technology without the dangers. 

READ MORE - Geopathic Stress

Success Question

To Ask Or Not To Ask - That Is The Success Question



Dreamers often fail to achieve their dreams because they keep second guessing what they are doing. They ask questions like: "Is this a waste of time?" "Will it work?" "Why are the results so poor?" and so on. 

As a result, they act half-heartedly and fail to finish what they have planned. They fail to discover whether their planned action would have worked or not. This article takes a look at whether questions are a help or a hindrance. 


We often think too much and talk too much and sometimes we talk and ask questions because we are reluctant to act. We may need to copy Tarzan of the Apes. He used words sparingly but was always poised for action whether this meant diving in with a crocodile or facing up to the king of the jungle! 


Football teams start questioning the referee when they are failing to win. Instead of working hard and concentrating on the game they spend all their energy complaining and harassing the match officials. Their failure to recover from their losing position is almost certain. 


Some people may have given up jogging because of the questions raised when one of the great jogging gurus died young. Why bother to jog when you can die early just like the majority who spend their leisure time watching TV? 


No one doubts that many people have fallen ill because of their own actions such as eating too much of the wrong food or because of their inactions such as failing to go for a daily walk or workout.


But some of the fittest men and women have suddenly succumbed to disease and died young. Does this mean that we should give up eating in a healthy way and stop going for daily walks? I think not but some think yes. Why bother to live a healthy lifestyle when you may die young anyway? 


When I started the martial arts, after watching the Kung Fu series which featured David Carradine as a Shaolin monk, questioning the teacher was not a good idea. 


If you ventured the opinion that a certain move might not work, the teacher would demonstrate how well it worked and guess who they demonstrated on: the student who had had the cheek to question their methods!


A less dictatorial teacher would just laugh at the question and the majority of the class would laugh with him. I was always one of the keenest questioners until I learned the painful lesson that it was wiser to keep my questions to myself. 


We need to realize that questions can often be an excuse for not getting on with the hard work of training and that as you train you will learn the answers for yourself without wasting the time of the whole class. 


There is much then to be said for taking massive action with maximum effort and keeping any questions for later. You will get much better at whatever you are doing and will find you can answer many of your own questions. 


Instead of second guessing your copy writing tutor, try following his or her suggestions and see what happens. Instead of doubting your health adviser just do as they say and see how you feel after a few weeks. 


On the other hand, some questions deserve an immediate answer and can lead to new and powerful developments. 


In the martial arts world, people started to question whether some of the traditional techniques would work in a street fight situation.


I once asked a world renowned martial artist at a seminar in London why people would choose to put a lock on someone's arm by lying on their back with one of their legs dangerously close to their opponent's teeth. He and his associates laughed at my question but neither he nor they answered it.


I have since realized that I was right about the danger of getting bitten when using this lock. In addition, lying on your back in order to put on an arm lock is suicide in a street situation.


Even if you are not bitten in the leg, your arms and legs are tied up controlling your opponent and one of his friends or even a complete stranger could easily kick you in the head. You could also be run over by a car or bus! 


Questions like the above and other questions like "Why train for hours to be able to kick someone in the head when it is so much easier to punch them instead?" have lead to the development of reality based self-defense systems which concentrate solely on what will work when you are faced by a psychopath who does not care about rules of engagement or whether you will live or die. 


These systems make sense and could save the lives of those who do not have the time or determination to train for years in the more traditional systems. They could also save a lot of wasted time learning and practicing techniques that are impractical for the majority of people. 


So then, questions do have value. 


We are left with the question whether we should question what we are doing or not? The answer, as is often the case. is to compromise or reach a balance. 


Questions have their uses but not when we are supposed to be taking action whether we have planned the action or are following the training of an instructor we respect. 


Questions will still pop into our minds like: 'Is this really necessary?' 'Do we have to do this?" Save these questions up until you have completed the suggested actions and then you will be in a good position to have an informed answer.


Ask questions at the start of any project and after it is over or if it goes drastically wrong but, if at all possible, avoid questioning what you are doing while you are still in the process of doing it. 


Last week, one of my students told me cheerfully that he had just been offered a job in the Royal Navy which would lead to exceptionally high engineering and diving qualifications. The job was clearing mines.


I hated pouring cold water on his dreams but felt it was my duty to remind him of the potential drawbacks of his proposed career like getting killed or badly injured. One of my teachers had been blinded when disarming a land mine. This had ruined both his life and his family's. 


The time for serious questioning or counting the cost was now before my student signed up and found himself in cold, murky water with sharks nibbling at his flippers whilst he was faced with the terrifying task of disarming a strange mine!


Questioning at the right time has great value but try not to mix it in with your actions. Once action is started, focus on the end result and only stop for questions if things go disastrously wrong. Feeling tired and discouraged is not a good reason to start questioning what you are doing. 


If you can't resist asking the questions early on, at least keep going with your original plan until you receive some kind of an answer.

READ MORE - Success Question

Techniques to Increase Your Intelligence

It is possible to enhance your intelligence quotient in a matter of 10 minutes. Some techniques to do so are discussed below.

Don't you want to enhance your IQ? Of course, you can use the brain power exercises and techniques. But these are long term and you would need to regularly practice them. What if you want to boost your IQ now, when you don't have more than 10 minutes. You would need all your IQ for any important meeting, or a test or any other major event in your life. If you really need some concrete results and not argue about intelligence, try the following techniques.


Breath To Increase Intelligence Quotient

Breath deeply through your nose. This will relax you immensely and help you remain calm and composed. Deep breathing infuses oxygen into your blood and therefore into your brain and enhances its functioning. A relaxed brain will be far more efficient. Also nose breathing uses the diaphragm more, so lungs draw more air. This is the simplest and shortest way to enhance your intelligence quotient immediately.

Another level of relaxation through breathing is meditation. Sit in whatever posture you are comfortable and concentrate on your breathing. With eyes closed, breath through your nose initially and this will truly calm and relax you. you will have thoughts interfering but just ignore them and keep your focus on your breathing. Do this for a few minutes.


Posture and exercise can improve your IQ

The posture you take while at any problem will surely affect the intelligence at your disposal. Just observe the difference when you solve a math problem slouching and sleeping while you do the same sitting upright. The latter posture will definitely be better since you can think a lot better like that.

You need to exercise, but not a very hectic regime as such. Exercise just enough to pump blood into your brain. Walking works for many but a better alternative to boost your IQ is aerobics.

Sleep also is very crucial for proper brain functioning. But the quality of sleep is also important apart from the duration of sleep.


Diet to Boost IQ

One tree whose leaves do certainly increase blood flow into brain is ginkgo biloba tree. You can use its leaves either in tea or in form of capsules. It also helps improve your memory power and concentration. The effect is immediate and it lasts long if regularly used.

Caffeine is certainly a IQ booster. It has been proved that any test taken after consuming caffeine in some form or the other does increase your scores. But do remember, that the effect is only temporary and caffeine if used longer can have adverse side effects too.

Give up sugar. Any carbohydrate if taken beyond a limit, can blur your thinking. Insulin gets injected into your blood stream after you have sugar and thus diminishes your ability to think. Avoid all carbohydrates like white flour, sugar, potatoes if you want to think clearly.

 

Results matter in the end

Experts will endlessly debate if the above techniques can really boost one's IQ. But there are times when it is very crucial for you to score high in a test. The above techniques if are found to be IQ booster, why not use them rather than wasting time in thinking if IQ really gets boosted or not. What matters is the score you get in the IQ test. So if you sleep well, have coffee and think sitting straight and if all this boosts IQ, there is no harm in doing the above techniques. These will prepare you better to face any task. Hence, be wise and don't debate any more on IQ and its definitions.

I am sure you all know Henry Ford. What was his IQ, any idea? Why bother? He was the most creative thinker of the last century and he was so because he was always in the company of intelligent people. That alone is a direct 20 point in IQ. I hope you get the point I state here.

You are concerned about results. Hence if you want to be creative resort to such techniques of finding a solution. There are techniques available to try out anything. Try your hands at speed reading and you will have double the grasp on the subject you read. What the world will see are the results or achievements you garner in your lifetime. The Monalisa, the Empire State building, etc, are what the world will remember and not your score in IQ tests.

READ MORE - Techniques to Increase Your Intelligence

Advantages of Being Confident

Almost all successes and attainments in life come from your ability to feel certain that you can accomplish what you set out to achieve. Confidence is the gateway to success; to the life that you wish to lead and to the dreams that you desire to live.

With confidence you can boldly progress towards your ambitions and aspirations. With confidence you can rise up and handle life's demands and challenges. You can tackle any hurdle and obstruction, and move on to the next step of your journey to fulfilment and achievement.

One of the principle requirements to anything you want to do in your life is confidence. Confidence is an indispensable part of your development, betterment, progress and success, both at a personal and professional level. With confidence you can forge ahead to fulfil your potential and perform at your peak level.

Having confidence is the crux that allows you to achieve your true potential in whatever situation; in your relationships, your work or career, your finances and your self-image.

When you experience a lack of confidence, it may stop you from striving for what you want. This feeling of lack of confidence can be the root of many complications and hardships that block you from achieving your desires. It can be like a large thorn that continually bursts the bubble of desire.

There may have been times when you have felt a level of confidence when you were engaged in an activity that you were good at; such as driving a car, being a parent or managing your team. At those times you would have displayed a high level of certainty, which is a form of confidence.

However, there may have been other circumstances where you found that you felt less confident. On these occasions, you would achieve a fraction of what is truly possible for you. With determination and focus to pursue and gain confidence, you can develop the strength and fortitude to climb out of the depths of any circumstances, and take advantage of the opportunities and successes that lay ahead of you.

In the same way that you have learned to lack confidence, you can also learn to have unlimited confidence. And the simplest and quickest way to kick-start the engines of your brain, is to know and accept that confidence can be an acquired process; it can be learned and formatted to suit all moments. As your confidence increases, you can take a front row seat in mastering many areas of your life. You will find that you become more and more comfortable and confident in multiple areas, including:
• Moving ahead in your career
• Starting your own business
• Embracing the risks of every day life
• Refusing to be held back by fear
• Creating circumstances rather than waiting for them
• Smiling more and enjoying life
• Dramatically improving your health

Successful and dynamic people have gained mastery on how to feel courageous and confident. When you develop and build on your own confidence skills, you, too, will feel and become a different person. You will feel much more enthusiastic, motivated and determined in every aspect of your life.

Once you improve on the way you think and feel about yourself, your beliefs and your actions will follow. You will confidently overcome the challenges that life thrusts upon you and you will manage them with new-found belief and faith in your capability to do so.

As you become more confident you abandon worry, hesitation and, more importantly, you side-step fear. The focus here is on your whole being, every part of you; your thoughts, the images in your mind, your emotions, and ultimately your behaviour and the actual outcomes in your life.

Bear in mind that as you focus on change, change does begin to happen. It is fun, motivating and very rewarding to feel and see yourself growing and improving and becoming more confident and effective day-by-day and week-by-week.

There is great power in believing that you can succeed in your quest for greater confidence. With awareness and consistency, this is attainable. Your confidence can stretch beyond any measurable scale and further still, knowing no boundaries.

Just think what you can do with all the confidence that you can have!

READ MORE - Advantages of Being Confident

Winner's Gold from Personal Garbage

Have you noticed how everybody takes it for granted a bad experience is automatically, unreservedly, unremittingly bad? That nothing good could ever come from a bad childhood, for example?

I'm hearing the comment more and more often that we have become a victim society. Maybe this is true? Consider...

Don't we hear these comments a lot? I was mistreated when I was a child... I was a lonely latchkey kid... My ancestors got a bad break, so I'm... I lived in a poor, disadvantaged family... I grew up in a broken home... I didn't get the proper advantages... I was constantly criticized as a child...

Every one of these comments sounds a lot like self-pity, like "I can't be helped because I've been scarred beyond reclaim."

Well, maybe all of the bare facts are true, but isn't it time to start looking for the positives that are buried in all that negative stuff?

Example: I was mistreated when I was a child... ...and as a result, I learned to be a survivor and to resist all efforts to crush my spirit. Sure I had some hard times back then, but now, I'm both tough and sensitive. I didn't learn self esteem then, but I've learned it as an adult, and I understand people better for it.

Example: I was a latchkey kid... ...and everyone treated me like an abandoned orphan. But it was great. My dad and mom fought all the time, so coming home to a quiet house was a wonderful break, and I loved it

See what I'm getting at here?

You have the right to take any piece of your personal history and reinterpret it to your advantage rather than to your detriment. You can find ways to turn your past to your own good.

Studies have shown that many children who grow up insecure tend to be unusually self-reliant as adults.

You don't HAVE to be filled with resentment, anger or helplessness. You COULD choose to feel something more pleasant, at least part of the time. And if you did choose to feel better about yourself, what do you think the result might be?

Did you know this is what many of the most successful people do? If they have a terrible experience, they simply turn it this way and that till they find a new aspect to emphasize. One that makes them feel better about themselves.

Don't believe me? Go read any great person's biography. It's almost a given that winners only become winners after overcoming huge difficulties. And they overcome because they keep trying, keep learning how to control their own thinking until they get good at it.

So if you've got anything -- ANYTHING AT ALL -- in your past that drags you down, angers you or depresses you, you have the right to look at it more closely. You can find more than garbage in your past. There's gold in your history, too. And all you've got to do is learn to look for it.

READ MORE - Winner's Gold from Personal Garbage

I know my destiny, can I change it?

Destiny, another common word that holds a lot of meaning. How many times have we used this term in vain?? What does it mean? Most commonly it means an event or a course of events that will inevitably happen in the future. In other words, fixed natural order of the universe. How many times has something happened, something we cannot really control and we can't help but say, "I don't know what to do? Its destiny!"

There are several ways to go about understanding destiny. There is the spiritual/ religious way, scientific way, and then there is a way that says that destiny is nothing but something made up or fictitious. It is widely believed that our lives are fixed by an almighty power that decides our fate, Hinduism believes in the law of karma. It states that our life is dominated by that actions or "karmas" of past life. It believes that good deeds lead to "punya" and bad deeds lead to "paap" and on the bases of our karma, we get happiness and suffering in our next life. It is also believed that there is a god up there looking down on us, keeping record of all we are doing, I had heard this in a movie, but it made a lot of sense to me. The message was that god has chosen 10 doors for us, but he leaves it to us to choose which one is right for us. It just depends on us to find the rite way.

Our modern world is highly dominated by logic and science. So as always there is a scientific view of things. Our perception of what our life is going to be like is dominated greatly by many aspects of our environment. When you are growing up your beliefs and attitude towards life, your spiritual or religious background, what part of the world you live in, your confidence level, the locus of control are greatly influenced by your parents. These factors also play an important part in your understanding of the word called "destiny".

If your parents are strong believers, living with them and learning from them you sub-consciously have the same beliefs. Then in college you get influenced by your friends and what they think. Suddenly what you learnt at home and at school is overridden. Yes, you certainly still believe that destiny does exist but are a little confused whether to listen to your friends or believe what your parents say, what your religion teaches you.

But another question may arise, who really thinks of destiny when they in college? Yes college is the time of life almost no one forgets, your first dance with your date, first set of exams after all the fun and games that made you so nervous. The first time you fell in love. Doesn't everything just look so beautiful? But then if you fail that exam or have had your heart broken or both and you don't quite understand why this is happening to you? Did you do something horrible to deserve this? or was it just destiny?
But sometime in all our lives we all have gone through some or the other phase where we think to ourselves that it was destiny playing a prank on us. You not only think of destiny when we are sad but also when we are happy. When you find a spouse, someone you really love, or when you have been working so hard and finally get a break you were looking for. What ever the reason be we wonder about our destiny when we don't really understand what is going on. But not everyone is so like minded. There are so many others who do not believe that their life is already decided. They very strongly believe that their life is in their hands, destiny has nothing to do with it. Everything is simply a matter of cause and effect.

Interestingly, that is something similar to what the Caravaka School of philosophy believes. They say that there is nothing called past life, future life, hell, heaven, etc. The past is gone and can never come back, the future is unknown and is unsure, the only certainty is the present. So enjoy the present and live life to the fullest. Many people believe this. May be not to the extreme but they do, to them life is just the consequence of choices. Everyone is entitled to their own point of view. No perception is right or wrong.

So many people, everyday, begin their day with new aspirations of doing something new, something productive, so often they go through the daily news paper and read their "luck" and know what is stored for them during the day. So I pause with the question, can knowing our destiny really change it? The answer to this is a paradox. I personally believe that life is full of decisions and choices. Each decision alters our life in one way or the other, and knowing what is written in our destiny can help us make better decisions.

Humans are ultimately hedonistic and we all want what is best for us and for the ones we love and care about. Knowing what the future might hold can show us a way, or may give us hope that something wonderful is waiting for us. We can spend most of our life dreaming about something wonderful to happen to us or we can work hard to achieve what we want. Either way the future is going to come. All we can do is make the right choices with the available knowledge so we can get there.

But then it is also true that what ever happens, happens for a reason, may be that finding out what is in our destiny is a part of the destiny itself. It could be that we are destined to find the knowledge so we live our life better and healthier. Well, to conclude, it is safest to say that whether knowing destiny can change the future itself, well at this moment I would only conclude that you can run from it but you can't hide!!

READ MORE - I know my destiny, can I change it?

Unlocking Self Improvement Power Course

When we look at a certain object, a painting for example - we won't be able to appreciate what's in it, what is painted and what else goes with it if the painting is just an inch away from our face. We reach a point in our life when we are ready for change and a whole bunch of information that will help us unlock our self-improvement power. The only time we think of unlocking our self-improvement power is when everything got worst.

We learn our lessons when we experience pain. We finally see the warning signs and signals when things get rough and tough. When do we realize that we need to change diets? When none of our jeans and shirts would fit us. When do we stop eating candies and chocolates? When do we realize that we need to stop smoking? When we realize that we're gonna die tomorrow.

The only time most of us ever learn about unlocking our self-improvement power is when the whole world is crashing and falling apart.

Change will happen, like it or hate it. At one point or another, we are all going to experience different turning points in our life - and we are all going to eventually unlock our self-improvement power not because the world says so, not because our friends are nagging us, but because we realized its for our own good.

Now, you don't have to feel a tremendous heat before realizing the need for self-improvement. Unlocking your self-improvement power means unlocking yourself up in the cage of thought that "its just the way I am". It is such a poor excuse for people who fear and resist change. Most of us program our minds like computers.

Self-improvement may not be everybody's favorite word, but if we look at things in a different point of view, we might have greater chances of enjoying the whole process instead of counting the days until we are fully improved. Three sessions in a week at the gym would result to a healthier life, reading books instead of looking at porns will shape up a more profound knowledge, going out with friends and peers will help you take a step back from work and unwind. And just when you are enjoying the whole process of unlocking your self-improvement power, you'll realize that you're beginning to take things light and become happy.

READ MORE - Unlocking Self Improvement Power Course

Techniques to work with an angry person

Have you ever been involved in a situation with an angry person when you felt defeated? Either you escalated to their level of aggression or you allowed yourself to get lambasted and felt battered in the end? There are some easy techniques to work with an angry person to take their level of volatility down to a manageable level so you can intellectually process the problem with them. 

Attempting to reason with those who use anger to intimidate, control, get attention, avoid responsibility, or pump themselves up will generally further add to the aggression or at the very least, be ineffective. Your first order of business is to de-escalate the level of anger. 

Often in our work environment, we are confronted with angry people, co-workers, those we supervise, customers, supervisors and stakeholders. In the majority of the situations, it is to your benefit to reduce the level of anger in the other person. 

Before intervening, do a quick assessment to see if you are in the proper frame of mind for an intervention. This generally means can you view this person as someone who is doing the best he or she can to gethis or her needs met at that point in time? Are you of the mind frame that you will not be reduced to his or her level of anger should you intervene? Can you allow that even if you do everything correctly, people may still maintain their anger because it is what works best for them without feeling as if you failed? If the answer to these questions is yes, then proceed. 

Techniques :

1. Simple Listening: Sometimes all that is needed is to allow the angry person to vent all their anger and frustration to someone who is actually attentive to what they are saying. Do not attempt to say anything. Just listen attentively, nod your head and sometimes give encouragers, such as "Uh huh," "Go on," or "Yes. . ." When a person is attempting to get attention with their anger, sometimes all you need to do is to listen until their anger is spent. At that point you may ask a simple question such as, "How can I help you?"

2. Active Listening: Active listening is the process of really attempting to hear, acknowledge and understand what a person is saying. It is a genuine attempt to put yourself in the other person's situation as best you can. Active listening means you are attending not only to the words the other person is saying but also the underlying emotion, as well as, the accompanying body language.

3. Acknowledgement: Acknowledgement occurs when you can legitimately understand the person's angry emotion. You could then honestly respond with, "Wow, I can see how something like that could cause some anger!" You might say, "Man, if that happened to me, I might be angry, too." The tone of your voice is critical in this circumstance. You don't want to use an excitable tone, as it could further incite the angry behavior--rather use a calming and respectful tone of voice designed to help the other person let go of their angry emotion. It confirms the legitimacy of the emotion, but not the behavior. You want the angry person to realize that being angry isn't the problem, the problem is the way he or she is choosing to act out those angry feelings. 

4. Apologizing: Apologizing is the fourth of the de-escalation skills. I'm not talking about apologizing for an imaginary wrong. I am talking about sincerely apologizing for anything in the situation that you believe was unjust. It's simply a statement acknowledging that something occurred that wasn't right. 

I am not asking you to take responsibility for something that wasn't your fault. For example, if you can't find anything for which to apologize, you can always say, "I'm so sorry you having such an awful day" or "I'm sorry the situation has you so frustrated." You can apologize without taking on the blame. 

5. Agreeing: Often when people are angry about something, there is at least 2 % truth in what they are saying. When attempting to diffuse someone's anger, it is important to listen for that 2 % of truth and agree with it. When you agree with the 2% of truth in the angry person's tirade, you take away the resistance and consequently eliminate the fuel for the fire. 

6. Inviting Criticism: Inviting criticism is the final of the de-escalation skills. In this instance you would simply ask the angry person to voice his or her criticism of yourself or the situation more fully. You might say something like, "Go ahead. Tell me everything that has you upset. Don't hold anything back. I want to hear all you have to say." 

This invitation will sometimes temporarily intensify the angry emotion but if you continue to encourage the person to vent their anger and frustrations, eventually, they will run out of complaints. Just let them vent until their anger is spent. In essence, this is a combination of inviting criticism and simple listening. 

You have been presented with six powerful and effective techniques of de-escalation. However, there may be a rare occasion when you are unsuccessful in your attempts to decrease a person's anger. Your safety should be the primary concern. Don't get between the angry person and his or her only means of escape and similarly, don't allow the angry person to block your only means of escape. 

Always have a plan or an established way to get help if needed and remember to stay calm. An angry person is generally someone capable of getting out of control. When an out of control person senses they are intimidating and scaring others, it can increase their sense of power and control, resulting in an escalation of the situation. You must stay calm at all times and recognize when it is important to seek assistance.  :)

READ MORE - Techniques to work with an angry person

In search of Confidence

What is the big deal with confidence. Why do some people have so much and others are struggling just to get their name out wondering why they missed out or something. Well we're all living in this box, and until we realize that we're not and then here we are... "obstacles are the things we see when we take our eyes off our goals"

Is it possible to teach confidence? Well, yes. Anything is possible!

Take drinking for example. Drinking is of course a way of releaving stress but really in turn most of the time creates more...much more...? who would tend to agreee with me? Like you had a long week or exams or life just isn't getting you places or your life is too hard and seems like there is no way out or how about Asia. Everybody is just so damn busy and has no time for families or friends so when they do get the chance they want to drink it away. Then once the drinking begins. The talk starts of changing lives and big hopes and money and next minute. Heads are huge if they weren't already before.

Guess what you wake up no closer to your dreams but have a nasty head ache and are probaby tired or else have wasted half of your day sleeping!Confidence you gain when your drinking isn't really yours. If you get layed or get a hot date well don't thank yourself but rather the poison sitting next to you or in your stomach. When the poison wears off you are still the same chicken that you were the night before. How long will this go on for?

So if you don't get your confidence from drinking where does it come from then? well 1st of all lets clear our heads and think straight here. hope you didn't drink last night! Well everybody has to discover their own confidence and some people may discover theirs quicker and some people may never quite find all of it. well just listen to your heart and block out the stuff that isn't bringing you in the right direction

I've grown up with my fair shair of love but know people who haven't and all I can say is that I belive in you even if you don't yet! Have you seen the "Conte of Monte Cristo"? Well God belives in you as well even if you don't believe or have faith in him! Change can be hard but the hardest thing I thing would be too look back on a life of regret or chances that we didn't take:

"The only real regrets we'll have when its all said and done is the chances that we didn't take"

"We'll never truly know what were capable of until we go to far" or "dreams are the limits of our success"

Never give up. It's never to late for anything!!!

READ MORE - In search of Confidence